lonely;

[lohn-lee] adjective

lone; without company; companion l e s s .

and you say nothing because you don't know the words to say;

and you know that the wrong thing, said, would become a regret;

and you wonder who invented the word 'goodbye', and whether

the first syllable is a kindness or a lie; and you think that if you

had hours and a pen, perhaps you would be able to find the right

thing to say; and perhaps you would not; but you do not have a pen,

or hours, just your lips and someone else's; and a kiss is too quiet to speak with;

or, i don't know, maybe it's just right; and you want to say a dozen things,

all of them like bridges, stone and iron, and wood, things that you

can leave behind & intact; and you want to say a dozen things,

all of them like breaths on a cold night, misting & then gone;

and you want to tear off your tie; and you want to throw your shoes at something;

and you want to be on a street of pinkpetaled trees, singing, voice resounding,

a song of carefree la and these days' easy joy; because they were such an easy joy;

and so full-feeling, her face; and so often hidden, her face; and you, dodging wry;

and skipping stones; and lines on hands;

and then; and then goodbye.

brittney stephens.