a note to my friends;

first & foremost, i'd like to take the time to say how truly grateful i am

for the life i have been given. i have two INCREDIBLE parents, two AMAZING

brothers, a little sister who cheers me on no matter what & friends who i care

about INSANELY. on top of that, i have an indescribable relationship with Jesus Christ.

these past few weeks have been an incredibly trying time in my life & i'm having to

grow up a lot faster than i had planned. i've also realized somethings about myself

that have completely turned my life upside down.

for example, i have NO IDEA who i am.

i've been putting on a front for so long that i can't

even remember who the real Caity is anymore.

all i know is that i'm a ridiculously sensitive & vulnerable person & i have unresolved issues.

for those who know what happened to me, i'm sure they completely understand why i am the way that i am.

i have to relive the bad decisions i made one night, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

with the help of my parents & Christ, it only gets easier to forget, but i know it will follow me the rest of my life.

i'm an extremely CARING person. i care about everyone & everything & when asked

why i am this way, i have no explanation. i even care about people who don't care about me in the slightest.

when people say negative things about me, i see it as a personal failure & make it

my goal to change the way they see me as a person.

i've changed myself so many times to fit in.

i've cut my hair, listened to different music, hung out with different groups only to realize

that none of it ever mattered & no one ever cared that i was around.

i've had a lot of time to myself recently & have realized that i am the way that i am

for a reason & a purpose. God gave me this chemical imbalance for a purpose! 

God made me overly sensitive, emotional & caring for a reason!

i just have yet to see what that reason is.

i want to apologize for anything i've said in anger, jokingly, or out of frustration these past few weeks.

i have a lot going on in my life that is stressing me out to a degree i can't even explain.

all of you are amazing people who have amazing lives ahead of them!

i truly mean it when i say that i care about ALL of you.